Self-immersion Strategy

[brete]

Brete knew that the only way she was going to start feeling like a member of the Weyr was to start behaving as one. She had been so awkward lately that she had been taking her meals in the kitchen with a few of the other candidates on duty. So today she was being brave and eating her mid-day meal in the Dining Cavern. There were a actually a lot more people sitting around than she had expected. Where was she supposed to sit? It didn't seem like there was a lot of order to the sitting so Brete took a big breath and made her way to a table that was about half full with a mixed bag of ages and sex of the occupants. Having had pulled her hair back into a long silky tail she was unable to hide her face. Needless to say she had an excellent view of the cavern and all those around had an amazingly unhindered view of her slanted soft features. Which was why she had always hidden it, she knew she was a bit different in looks to most Pernese, the things that made her different came from her ancestors and used to be common but had been mostly bred out. Quelling her awkward feeling she took a deep breath and poured herself some sweetened Klah. Taking a sip she looked around the table to see who was near her.

She was again struck by the look of most of the people, they looked strong and capable, friendly and open; in short they were a handsome bunch of people. No wonder so many hold girls and boys dreamed of pairing with a dragon rider. It was an attractive, powerful bunch of people in one convenient spot. She wondered what it was like to be looked at with such aspiration, admiration, and desire. It must be a bit of an ego boost for all of them. Granted she had met a few who seemed shy and withdrawn by turn as well. So it was a mixed bag of personality as well, in fact she had only had one somewhat hostile welcome so far and that was to be expected since she had laughed at a naked man out of nervous disbelief. Sighing she smiled to herself in memory of the awkward situation, she still couldn't believe she had seen her first male like that. Thus she sat with funny little grin on her face thinking, disregarding the people around her and forgetting why she had come here in the first place.

[lyonza]

Z'mer sat with the usual crowd at the half-full lunch table. He was half listening to the conversations, his attention caught by the young girl with the exotic cast to her features. She looked a little spooked in his opinion - like she was forcing herself to be in the dining cavern with everybody. Then she smiled, like laughing at a private joke before she sat down at the table near him. He couldn't help but smile in response.

"A smithmark for that joke because I think its got to be a very good one," he said. He took a sip of klah before introducing himself. "I'm Z'mer bronze Amoneth's rider. You're new here, aren't you?" He looked all kind and friendly - she was young enough to be his daughter, so he immediately felt some kind of protectiveness towards her.

[brete]

Not even realizing she was being observed Brete turned her head dimly as someone talked to her. Realizing it was another male dragon rider she snapped out of her reverie and smiled sheepishly up at him. Thinking it through she thought it might actually be funny to tell someone else and have a shared laugh about it. After all to the Weyr folks it wasn't a big deal really. Holder girls were very sheltered in this sense. So for a dragonrider her hapless misadventure of misunderstanding might be an amusing little story. Squinting her eyes in humor she sighed and turned a bit more toward Z'mer.

"Hello Rider Z'mer, your bonded has a lovely name Amoneth it's musical. I might have to write a song about a bronze with the name. It would make a lovely ballad name. I'm Bretella, Brete for short. I'm a harper hall student turned candidate...shockingly something I never aspired to but was blessed with. As to the joke...it's more of a joke on me than anything. See...in the Holds we have separate baths for male and female...and well I was not exactly prepared to walk in on a sarcastic, very naked, black rider. I've never laughed so hard in my life. We Hold girls are a bit sheltered it seems...I've never um..seen a man like that...so I sort of made a fool of myself. Which would lead to why I'm here..so as to blend in and not make another such spectacle of myself." a light blush tinged her cheeks as she laughed softly. It wasn't so bad when you said it out loud, it was actually more amusing to think of now than ever.

"Are black riders usually so um....aggressively anti-social?" Brete had to admit though that after a bit of talking her bathing companion had thawed out a bit and turned out to be kind enough to have his dragon, who was by far the nicer of the two, talk to her. This was of course one of the biggest honors bestowed on a non-rider. "Though his dragon did chat with me and was such a lovely boy that I was almost lost for words. I never thought a dragon would talk to me like that. It must be so amazing to have one in your head all the time."

[lyonza]

Z'mer listened as the girl introduced herself and complemented Amoneth's name. I like her and I would really like to hear that song if she ever writes it, Amoneth said. "Nice to meet you, Brete," he said with a smile. "And Amoneth would very much like to hear that song when you've written it."

He listened as she told her tale. "Oh, I bet he didn't like being laughed at. It wasn't M'kal by any chance was it?" He grinned. "I guess you will get used to it in the end," he said. "I grew up in Telgar so I can't quite understand the segregation that Holds insist on."

He shrugged. "I don't know if all of them are like that," he said. "I've found some personalities goes with certain color dragons, so its plausible that all black riders are anti-social..." He let the thought trail off. He frowned. "Are all the dragons around here so chatty? Amoneth has spoken to only one other than me. I thought dragons didn't talk to anybody other than their riders unless it was really necessary." He smiled. "Its nice to have a friend that will love you no matter what, but they can be quite opinionated and Amoneth sometimes argue with me just to hear his own voice it seems."

[brete]

Brete laughed tinkling at Amoneth wanting to hear her composition. She was finding that dragons were a bit conceited and loved to be talked about and told how wonderful they are. She found it endearing. It was like a child in their self importance, which they had a good reason to be like that. Tapping her fingers on the table as she thought an unconscious rhythm was coming to her. Later she would remember it and work with it but as always the music came to her when she wasn't expecting it to therefore for a while it would go unnoticed. "I will play it for him personally the second it is done if it would please his most wonderful self." she smiled happily at that, to play for a dragon could you imagine?

"As to the dragons being chatty, well I don't know. Rayth talked to me I think because D'ak asked him to and because I think to make up for D'ak being a bit hostile. Though I have no doubt Rayth is a chatter he is so friendly I have no doubt he sets the Green's hearts racing. He seems to be a popular guy." again the laugh was ripped from her, as if she had no choice but to laugh. "I hope I impress, it would be the most beautiful thing to have a friend who was always with me no matter where I was. I mean it must be the best thing in the world to know you can fully rely on someone." It would mean never being lonely or out of place ever again. The emotion was hidden well from her face, Brete was a master of hiding her emotions when she needed to, it made her a good leader, but none the less she still felt that lonely tug. She had a sinking feeling most all candidates felt it in some sense, that incomplete hole. It made her think it was one of the things that made them search-able. Something in all of them called to a dragon. She just hoped that calling was strong enough in her.

[lyonza]

"I know that you will have made a friend for life if you do that," Z'mer replied. The thought amused him as well, that someone could make up a song about his dragon based on hearing his name.

"Well, you're the second person to tell me that other dragons have talked to them," he said. "Did the Search dragon talk to you or only the rider?" he asked out of curiosity. It might just be Navith that did that, since the blue had spoken to Pala and the other woman that had arrived on the boat. "I'll have to ask Amoneth if the dragons are chatty around here, since I'm quite new here myself. I've only been here a few weeks."

Z'mer got a far-off look on his face, remembering his Impression to Amoneth twenty years before. "It's wonderful, terrifying, awesome and fantastic, rolled into a big flying beast. I wouldn't exchange it for anything. I think you stand a good chance if dragons talk to you already."

[brete]

"It is a wonderful thought that I could possibly have a friend for life, someone who wouldn't leave or betray you is an amazing thought. It is like saying you'll never go hungry again...it's strange but even now it is hard to believe that there is a kind of love between two beings that is so strong." she smiled and shrugged at her own musings. She knew it was possible but she had yet to feel that attachment to anyone other than her mother, and that was the woman who gave birth to her so it was a bit different. Tapping he fingers on the table again as another song came into her head she looked up at Z'mer shocked to hear that the searchdragon had talked to a candidate.

"Well that is odd my searchdragon did not talk to me though he looked at me kindly. I would love to see the dragon who did talk to the other person. I find it fascinating and beyond dream-able talking to a dragon. Rayth was so interestingly flirtatious when he talked all compliments and sweetness. But I bet there are differences in personality with other dragons. I wonder if there are old cranky dragons." she laughed quietly at this because it made her think of an old uncle at the hold who was always cranky and not afraid to let you know about it.

"Is it very strange for dragons to talk to non-riders? I mean it is sort of comforting to know that you think I have a better chance because of it but I still wonder. Isn't it up to the dragon who they talk to? Maybe they get bored sometimes and want to talk to someone new...at least it is a fun thought to think." She grinned at him sheepishly and tugged on her hair. It would be a wonderful thing to know that dragons talking to you gave you a better chance at impressing.

[lyonza]

"Its the best thing in the world to have someone that will love you and be your friend, no matter what. They might have some opinions of their own and give you a hard time, but in the end you can be certain of their love." He smiled. "Amoneth threatens to eat me on a regular basis, but only when he thinks I'm an idiot. He also tells me when he thinks I'm an idiot - more often than I would like to hear - but there you go."

Z'mer smiled. "It is definitely not the norm for dragons to talk to anybody but their rider, but it happens. It might just be a peculiarity of this Searchrider to talk to candidates, but who knows. His name is Navith and he's Candidate Master A'zael's blue." He outright laughed at the notion of cranky old dragons. "I guess they can be cranky when they got old. I can't really say for sure, Amoneth is only twenty, still a youngster.

"It really is up to the dragon to decide if they want to talk to anybody other than their rider, but like I said, its the exception to the rule. I guess Ryath wanted to make up for his rider's shortcomings and tried to smooth over any potential awkwardness."

[brete]

Curious, dragons normally didn't talk to people but they had the ability to when they so choose. It made sense then that Rayth was probably trying to smooth things over since D'ak was so abrasive. Which probably also mean she wasn't all that special after all, just a victim of a cranky rider who happened to have an amazingly sweet little dragon on his hands. What a lucky man D'ak was then. Rayth may be a flirt be he made people love him. With just one conversation Brete already loved the black creatures personality. How would it be if she talked to him more often?

"Here is an interesting thought then. If a non rider has been talked to by more than one dragon what do you think that means?" If Rayth talked to her and then another dragon did she wondered if maybe she was more likely to impress. It would be an awesome possibility. To impress any dragon no matter color was a blessing, to impress high was a miracle.

"The female rides you know...are there any certain traits you've noticed for the color they impress? I'm curious....I mean there has to be a reason one will impress gold and another green."

[lyonza]

Z'mer considered the question a bit. "I'm really not sure how it works. There is the legend that all dragons spoke to Masterharper Robinton during the previous Interval and the Pass that followed, even from a young age. Yet he never stood to be a rider. Did the dragons know something that he didn't at the usual Impression age? Did they know somehow that he was destined for great things? I've often wondered about that, but I guess its something that will never get answered." He shrugged. "Dragons talking to a non-rider can mean anything. Maybe they just like that person and will talk to them even though the person won't be a rider. Ever. I really can't answer that one for you, sorry."

Z'mer smiled. "One thing I've heard said is that Golds tend to choose Holderbred women over Weyrbred, but its not a hard and fast rule. Many of the great Weyrwomen came from holds. Moreta and Lessa to name the most famous ones. I've seen Queen riders that really shouldn't have been chosen by a gold and I've seen greenriders that had more sense, command presence and nobility in their bearing than most Queen riders. Its a mystery how dragons choose their bonded. At least it is to me and I've been around them for twenty years."

He smiled kindly. "I'm probably the wrong person to ask, young Brete. Perhaps A'zael can give you a better answer, being the Candidatemaster." He didn't want to raise her hopes and then have them dashed to pieces just because he said something that could be completely and utterly wrong.

[brete]

First and foremost thinking of asking the candidate master a question made Brete a little flustered; he was, after all, a very attractive man who loved to flirt. It made it very hard to talk to him without feeling oddly. Not to say he was odd, just incredibly male and young. Brete was now old enough to be considered fair game with most of the weyr males and had been clued into this by many weyr men, and oddly for her, women as well. She never would have imagined a woman giving her an invitation but this was the weyr after all. Shaking her inner self she got back on topic. Z'mer was right that in history a lot of queen riders were holder bred, which again gave Brete reason to wonder if she might impress well.

"That's another curious fact don't you agree? Only thing I can see as a reason is that being holderbred the girls might appeal to the queens since they have no male ties to the weyr yet. Which would leave the queen with as many choices as she liked come first rise. Well that and aren't most hold girls taught how to run a hold? Which would translate well into how to run a weyr. A weyr being so big I can't imagine very many of the girls get outside their chosen apprenticeship." Brete was being as logical as she could, now that it was in the logic realm she was much better suited to talking. She could sound poised and comfortable. She was a hold girl after all, though sadly not as well trained as some. "Granted even though I'm a holder bred girl, I haven't really been trained to the extent that some might. The Harper hall is strict on music and lessons first."

"As to asking the candidate master, I don't think it will do much good, I mean you are a rider yourself and a bronze one at that, you would know just as much if not more I would think. That and well...the candidate master is um...very busy." this was said with a slight blush. Again she thought about how hard it would be to talk to a man who was so forward and also in charge like he was. It was down right awkward for her. She was still not sure how to handle this whole hormonal drive that was coming to life now that the structured work of becoming a harper was put to the side.

"Anyways, enough of all that. What brought you to Western? You said you were from Telgar right?" With a delicately raised eyebrow she looked up at him. It had to have been a good reason, Telgar was a well established hold and Western was still newish in comparison.

[lyonza]

Z'mer considered Brete's idea. "It's a reasonable assumption, both the lack of weyr ties and the training, but I don't think its quite that simple. Not that I can presume what goes through the minds of queens when they hatch. Do they judge personality, force of will, temperament or something else? I've seen some women become queen riders that should never been allowed to Stand, but the dragons are never wrong and those women have turned out to be great leaders in the end." He smiled. "Discipline and focus are good traits as well, I would hazard to guess." He shook his head. "I might be a bronzerider for a long time, but one can never guess what the dragons would do in the end. I think they will surprise us all this time again."

Z'mer chuckled at her words. "Oh, dear. I see A'zeal has already made an impression, hasn't he? Well, I have to admit he is quite good-looking, charming too. My dear, its his job to explain these things to you and I'm sure he knows things I don't. About dragons and how they choose, of course." He couldn't help grinning, since his statement was quite ambiguous. Actually, he hadn't thought of flirting with the blue Searchrider. It was an interesting thought to say the least.

He blinked in confusion at the change in topic. "Uhm, a change is as good as a holiday?" he answered. "Seriously? I felt kind of blah about being there. It was nice enough but I wanted a bit more of a challenge, somewhere that was different. A change of pace, new people and places." Z'mer sighed a little. "I got bored with the place. And then I come to Western and within less than four sevendays I slice open my foot while waiting for Amoneth to hunt." He nudged the cane leaning against the table. "I have been ordered not to dance until its been healed." He smiled at the memory of the admonishment and how he had teased Pala.

[brete]

"Reasonable or not you are right there is no telling what a dragon will do. I just hope this is done soon, the waiting is torture. I want to fail or succeed so that the waiting is done. Waiting to me is worse than failing, it's this horrible in-between where you are only measuring time by how quickly it gets you to the point in time you want. It's a horrible way to live. It's hard to be productive even; with your mind constantly on will it happen or won't it? I don't know how people have stayed sane in the process, I'm worse than a diseased wherry." she laughed again and smiled brightly at her own silly thoughts. It was just ridiculous to worry over something so much when you really had no control over it, but being young she just couldn't help it. Brete would have to develop a more firm sense of patience soon.

"The candidate master is very knowledgeable but....well HE is sooo...um....how do I put it....flirty? Handsome? Both? It's a bit intimidating really. Back home I was never the object of out right flirting, and even less so from someone of such a pleasing nature. Which isn't me looking for a compliment believe me. It's just back home...well everyone is someone you've known since you were young...well pretty much...so it's hard to feel nervous around them...it's hard to view them as men. Not when you used to beat them up as kids." Here she blushed again. She wasn't ashamed of her spiel but it was odd to say it to someone out loud.

"Wanting a challenge is a good sign of a strong character, the other bronzes might need to look out for you. It's nice you find a place to try but ....well try not to get hurt too much more!" again she was laughing brightly. Z'mer sort of reminded her of her father and that made it easy to open up and laugh and basically be herself. Not to mention he didn't seem to be too puffed up with his own importance. Yet another myth about dragon riders squashed. They were not full of themselves as a whole. Some were of course but mostly they were all normal, nice, fun loving, hard working people.

[lyonza]

Z'mer raised an eyebrow. "Diseased wherry? Now that is not an image I would have pictured, ever. But I know what you mean about the waiting. I felt like I could crawl out of my skin while I waited for Amoneth's Hatching. But our Candidate Master kept us busy enough, the only time we had to worry was at night before we fell asleep. Well, that and during meals, in the baths, while doing chores... You get the idea." He gave a half-smile. "If you can outwait this, you're fine for anything that may come your way."

He made his eyes wide with disbelief. "You? Not being flirted with? I find that hard to believe." He winked. "Beating up the boys, now that I can believe." He tilted his head to one side. "A'zael is good at his job and while he might have a flirty streak, I'm pretty sure its just his nature. If he was serious about it, you would know. So, enjoy the view, banter back if you can and enjoy it. I know I would," he added. Which made him think that he should flirt with A'zael a bit. Maybe some of the other riders as well - he really needed to get some friends.

Z'mer smiled ruefully. "Well, I wasn't looking forward to sitting with my boots in the stream," he admitted. "I'm usually good at not getting hurt, but that luck ran out it seems. Who knows, it might return when Orliath rises again. Amoneth might just catch her." He allowed himself a moment to consider it. His inner self raised an eyebrow at him and he silently admitted to himself that he would be a terrible Weyrleader.

[brete]

Laughing Brete nodded she knew it was a bit odd to say things like that but it seemed like a fitting way to describe her feelings at the moment. "I've always been told I have an odd way of expressing things...guess being a Harper will bring that out in you. I feel like my skin is too tight...I keep wanting to go down and check the eggs to see if they are any different from before. I know the other candidates feel that way as well because I hear them talking. The good thing about being the new out of weyr girl is people tend to forget you're there while they are talking, I've learned a few very interesting things recently." at this she wiggled an eyebrow suggestively. She had heard some very intimate details about some of the boys. It seemed this batch of candidates were a little less worried about gender and more about flirting across the board. Which was a little sad for Brete seeing as they were all very attractive. She was positive at least 4 of the boys preferred other men. Not that it was bad it was just a smaller pool of possible bed fellows when she decided to take one.

So Z'mer liked men as well? Well this seemed to be a trait common in the weyr. She wondered if that was something to do with the sexuality of the dragons. With that in mind she also wondered if the women were the same. She herself could never think of a girl in that way but it would stand to reason that if boys were like that so would the women be. "Ahh so you are a flirt then dragon rider? I guess I can see that....Though I will admit that A'zael's attentions are not unappreciated...it is just odd that is all. I thought I wouldn't have those attentions unless I impressed but I'm starting to see that in the weyr certain passions run high." she grinned and shook her head. It really was very nice to be sought after but when one isn't used to it, well it was also something to fear.

"Being idle is a nightmare so I admire you for that. And hey you got to get hurt at least once...yours is a mild thing so you met your quota and don't have to worry now right?" a bright laugh spilled from her lips at this. She knew better, the life of a dragon rider was hard and dangerous but the mere thought of the big man in danger was unthinkable to the young girl at this time. "Hmm would you want to be weyrleader? I might like to be a weyrwoman someday...to be chased...sounds thrilling and challenging. I love things that are challenging."