Post by missing on Mar 7, 2011 10:12:39 GMT -6
((Don't really have too many instances showing Pala and Midnael's friendship, so here's one.
Song is "Let it Rain" by Jordin Sparks))
Pala leaned back on one of the tables of the infirmary. The duties and classes for the day were done, and she had reorganized every area and storage room here who knows how many times. It was late, the others would be eating already probably. She was hungry, but she didn't want to go to the dining hall. She wasn't avoiding them, really... or at least that's what she kept telling herself.
Kumath, curled up next to the table, snorted, I can understand you not wanting others to think that is the case, but why lie to yourself?
"It's hard to explain..."
"What's hard to explain?"
Pala nearly fell off the table. She sat up, coming face to face with Midnael standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. At his feet Norpoth looked up at her, his eyes showing distress. There was a chirp behind her, at which Pala really did fall off the table.
She sat up, rubbing the back of her head as her eyes watered from the sharp pain there. She blinked her eyes clear only to find Kumath in her face, eyes whirling with anxiety. Pala smiled and reached out a hand to stroke his head, "I'm fine dear one, Finiky just seems to forget that sneaking up on people isn't nice." She grinned up at the firelizard who was now on the table looking quite apologetic.
Shout it out, I can't hold back no more
I let it out, all these feelings that were trapped inside
I was frozen every time I looked in your eyes
Clear my head from all the clutter
Things I should have said that wasn't me
No, I can't live like that breaking up
And there is no looking back
Midnael knelt next to Pala, offering her a hand up, "You really are the clumsiest thing ever."
"Oh I'm sure that's not true," she took the hand, nodding her thanks, "Ever seen a newborn runner? They can be quite awkward in their first minute."
Midnael rolled his eyes, "So why are you avoiding everyone?"
"...Who said I was..." he leveled a glare at her, she sighed, "How'd you know?"
"Oh well let's see, the moment duties are over you're nowhere to be found, you don't talk to anyone in classes anymore, you don't eat with everyone else, and the only times you're in the barracks are when you're sleeping," he ticked off each reason on his fingers as he went along, "Want me to keep going?"
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
She shook her head, "No, I just... I didn't really think it was that obvious."
"It's not, unless of course you're me. Although I'm sure A'der has noticed by now too," when she opened her mouth to protest she was cut off by him raising a hand, "You go from wanting to spend every possible chance with him to ignoring him for more than a sevenday, if he hasn't noticed then he's oblivious or really busy. Now you're going to tell me why."
She frowned, sitting on the table she had previously fallen off of, "Why do you care? You won't talk to anyone unless they come up to you first of Fin bites you." Fin chirped her agreement, hopping up onto Pala's shoulder.
"You're avoiding the question, but as you said we are friends. I was worried."
Pala raised an eyebrow, it was a pretty far stretch for Midnael to be saying that. Sure she considered him a friend, and had called him such, but she'd always thought she had annoyed him, "I'm getting too close."
Clear the sky, I start to breath again now
Been too high, let you through to who I am inside
Every layer till you get underneath my skin
Let you in, let you in
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
"Too close to what?" He hopped up on the table next to her, Norpoth curling up next to where Kumath lay.
"Everyone... I was assigned here Midnael, this was supposed to be a job, and when Kumath gets bigger it still will be. Back at Fort any friends I made weren't constantly in danger, I didn't run a regular risk of having to treat one of them all the time. And when thread comes, how am I supposed to stay focused treating you, or Zyika, or Z'mer, or Mya, or..." She trailed off, looking at her hands in her lap.
"Or A'der?" He finished for her, watching as she twisted her hands nervously.
She nodded, "We treat people, patients, cases... not friends, not... anything more. A Healer who is emotionally invested makes mistakes, worries, slips up, and kills people... The best thing I can do for you all is distance myself."
Midnael shook his head, "I disagree."
"I'm sure you do but let's hear it..."
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed
Let it rain, let it rain
All the hurt that's been stuck inside of me
Make it pour, make it bleed
Let the rain wash it clean, wash it clean
Let it rain
"I haven't really told you much about my father have I?"
Pala shook her head.
"Well, when my mom died, I was still a kid. But even as a kid I looked very feminine, very much like her. Too much for my father to handle, and so he distanced himself. At first I thought he hated me, or even blamed me somehow, but then the hold's Harper said he was simply afraid," he looked over at Pala, "It took me a while to realize he was afraid of taking his loss out on me, and when I did I was angry."
"Why? Sounds like he was trying to protect you."
"But in doing so he denied me a father. He might have never been able to get over the loss, but he never gave it a chance, he never tried. He sacrificed our relationship because he was too scared to go out on a limb and try. And he did so without once asking me what I wanted."
Pala looked up at him, surprised.
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed
Let it rain, oh, let it rain
"I'm not saying you don't have good reasons to be scared, what I'm saying is that you should at least let those you care about have some say in the decision about if you're getting too close or not."
She nodded, "You're right, I know you're right but... what if one of you dies? Then what do I do?"
He shrugged, "People die, it's a fact of life that you should know very well. It takes a while to get over it but you shouldn't deny yourself the good times just so you can avoid the bad ones."
Midnael looked down at Norpoth, "He says you're worried, that's normal. I would recommend talking to A'der about it though, as far as I'm concerned. You're my friend now, no matter if I like it or not. Cause you know... Fin likes you and all..." He shot her a mischievous grin and she punched him in the shoulder.
"Thanks Midnael, I'll think about it some more."
"Take your time, and please stop avoiding people okay? Makes it very hard for us to track you down."
Yeah, wash me clean
Wash me clean
"Oh, right... by the way what DID you come down here for anyway?"
"I was going to ask you if you can keep an eye on me during Fin's flight, you know, make sure my crazy adolescent hormones don't get the better of me. I just need something to distract me, have me sort herbs or something if you need to. She's due to fly any day now though and I knew I could.... well I knew I could trust you."
She blushed, "Of course Midnael, I'll chain you to the table if I need to."
He laughed, patting her on the shoulder, "Thanks Pala," he hopped down and walked towards the exit with Norpoth, stopping just before he reached it to turn and look at her, "No avoiding me anymore?"
Pala shook her head, "No avoiding you anymore." And she'd have to talk to A'der...
Song is "Let it Rain" by Jordin Sparks))
Pala leaned back on one of the tables of the infirmary. The duties and classes for the day were done, and she had reorganized every area and storage room here who knows how many times. It was late, the others would be eating already probably. She was hungry, but she didn't want to go to the dining hall. She wasn't avoiding them, really... or at least that's what she kept telling herself.
Kumath, curled up next to the table, snorted, I can understand you not wanting others to think that is the case, but why lie to yourself?
"It's hard to explain..."
"What's hard to explain?"
Pala nearly fell off the table. She sat up, coming face to face with Midnael standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. At his feet Norpoth looked up at her, his eyes showing distress. There was a chirp behind her, at which Pala really did fall off the table.
She sat up, rubbing the back of her head as her eyes watered from the sharp pain there. She blinked her eyes clear only to find Kumath in her face, eyes whirling with anxiety. Pala smiled and reached out a hand to stroke his head, "I'm fine dear one, Finiky just seems to forget that sneaking up on people isn't nice." She grinned up at the firelizard who was now on the table looking quite apologetic.
Shout it out, I can't hold back no more
I let it out, all these feelings that were trapped inside
I was frozen every time I looked in your eyes
Clear my head from all the clutter
Things I should have said that wasn't me
No, I can't live like that breaking up
And there is no looking back
Midnael knelt next to Pala, offering her a hand up, "You really are the clumsiest thing ever."
"Oh I'm sure that's not true," she took the hand, nodding her thanks, "Ever seen a newborn runner? They can be quite awkward in their first minute."
Midnael rolled his eyes, "So why are you avoiding everyone?"
"...Who said I was..." he leveled a glare at her, she sighed, "How'd you know?"
"Oh well let's see, the moment duties are over you're nowhere to be found, you don't talk to anyone in classes anymore, you don't eat with everyone else, and the only times you're in the barracks are when you're sleeping," he ticked off each reason on his fingers as he went along, "Want me to keep going?"
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed, let it rain
Let it rain, let it rain
She shook her head, "No, I just... I didn't really think it was that obvious."
"It's not, unless of course you're me. Although I'm sure A'der has noticed by now too," when she opened her mouth to protest she was cut off by him raising a hand, "You go from wanting to spend every possible chance with him to ignoring him for more than a sevenday, if he hasn't noticed then he's oblivious or really busy. Now you're going to tell me why."
She frowned, sitting on the table she had previously fallen off of, "Why do you care? You won't talk to anyone unless they come up to you first of Fin bites you." Fin chirped her agreement, hopping up onto Pala's shoulder.
"You're avoiding the question, but as you said we are friends. I was worried."
Pala raised an eyebrow, it was a pretty far stretch for Midnael to be saying that. Sure she considered him a friend, and had called him such, but she'd always thought she had annoyed him, "I'm getting too close."
Clear the sky, I start to breath again now
Been too high, let you through to who I am inside
Every layer till you get underneath my skin
Let you in, let you in
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
"Too close to what?" He hopped up on the table next to her, Norpoth curling up next to where Kumath lay.
"Everyone... I was assigned here Midnael, this was supposed to be a job, and when Kumath gets bigger it still will be. Back at Fort any friends I made weren't constantly in danger, I didn't run a regular risk of having to treat one of them all the time. And when thread comes, how am I supposed to stay focused treating you, or Zyika, or Z'mer, or Mya, or..." She trailed off, looking at her hands in her lap.
"Or A'der?" He finished for her, watching as she twisted her hands nervously.
She nodded, "We treat people, patients, cases... not friends, not... anything more. A Healer who is emotionally invested makes mistakes, worries, slips up, and kills people... The best thing I can do for you all is distance myself."
Midnael shook his head, "I disagree."
"I'm sure you do but let's hear it..."
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed
Let it rain, let it rain
All the hurt that's been stuck inside of me
Make it pour, make it bleed
Let the rain wash it clean, wash it clean
Let it rain
"I haven't really told you much about my father have I?"
Pala shook her head.
"Well, when my mom died, I was still a kid. But even as a kid I looked very feminine, very much like her. Too much for my father to handle, and so he distanced himself. At first I thought he hated me, or even blamed me somehow, but then the hold's Harper said he was simply afraid," he looked over at Pala, "It took me a while to realize he was afraid of taking his loss out on me, and when I did I was angry."
"Why? Sounds like he was trying to protect you."
"But in doing so he denied me a father. He might have never been able to get over the loss, but he never gave it a chance, he never tried. He sacrificed our relationship because he was too scared to go out on a limb and try. And he did so without once asking me what I wanted."
Pala looked up at him, surprised.
Every little tear I was scared to cry
Everything I feared but I kept inside
I don't want to hold it back one more day
Oh, I'll wash it away
Every time a thought clouded up my head
Every single word that I never said
I refuse to feel ashamed
Let it rain, oh, let it rain
"I'm not saying you don't have good reasons to be scared, what I'm saying is that you should at least let those you care about have some say in the decision about if you're getting too close or not."
She nodded, "You're right, I know you're right but... what if one of you dies? Then what do I do?"
He shrugged, "People die, it's a fact of life that you should know very well. It takes a while to get over it but you shouldn't deny yourself the good times just so you can avoid the bad ones."
Midnael looked down at Norpoth, "He says you're worried, that's normal. I would recommend talking to A'der about it though, as far as I'm concerned. You're my friend now, no matter if I like it or not. Cause you know... Fin likes you and all..." He shot her a mischievous grin and she punched him in the shoulder.
"Thanks Midnael, I'll think about it some more."
"Take your time, and please stop avoiding people okay? Makes it very hard for us to track you down."
Yeah, wash me clean
Wash me clean
"Oh, right... by the way what DID you come down here for anyway?"
"I was going to ask you if you can keep an eye on me during Fin's flight, you know, make sure my crazy adolescent hormones don't get the better of me. I just need something to distract me, have me sort herbs or something if you need to. She's due to fly any day now though and I knew I could.... well I knew I could trust you."
She blushed, "Of course Midnael, I'll chain you to the table if I need to."
He laughed, patting her on the shoulder, "Thanks Pala," he hopped down and walked towards the exit with Norpoth, stopping just before he reached it to turn and look at her, "No avoiding me anymore?"
Pala shook her head, "No avoiding you anymore." And she'd have to talk to A'der...